Get smart and steer clear of these self-defeating thoughts. By Satyaki Sarkar
Those who are successful have a certain attitude towards life, their dreams, and their ventures, and it sets them apart from those around them. They know what they want and what they need to do to achieve it, and possess the resolve and conviction to do that without faltering. It wasn’t through chance or magic that Steve Jobs created a multi-billion dollar company called Apple, but a number of habits that most, if not all, successful people adhere to religiously. Stop the cycle of negativity and banish these five thoughts that are sabotaging your success.
1. Life is unfair
This is common complaint we have when things aren’t going right and we want to make ourselves feel better. However, it’s a poisonous thought that can make you complacent and give in to a victim mentality. Yes, life is not a bed of roses, but what matters is that it is exactly what you make it, provided you have what it takes to do so. Most of the blows and setbacks you face actually help prepare you for what’s to come, making you stronger and more able to conquer your destiny. So instead of letting yourself be bludgeoned by obstacles, treat them as a means to learn and grow.
2. It’s everyone else’s fault
It’s often a common habit to blame someone else for the difficult situation you find yourself in, instead of accepting responsibility. This is a dangerously toxic thought that not only breeds irresponsibility, but makes you an escapist. And no one is interesting in working with or hiring a person who puts their hands up at the first sign of trouble. Organisations are looking for leaders who assume responsibility in times of difficulties, who are focussed on solving the problem rather than making someone else a scapegoat.
3. Failure is the end
Failure is inevitable in life, be it at school, at work, or even in personal relationships, but that doesn’t mean there’s no way beyond that. Each mistake or failure is a way for you to learn, evolve, and grow. You’ll know what to do/not to do the next time and come out stronger because of it. There will be times you will need to accept that a particular career, project, or business venture is not meant for you, and you will have to try something new. Failure is failure only if you stop trying, and that is why to be successful you need to learn from mistakes and failures and never to stop trying.
4. If only I had the chance
While this might not seem like a toxic thought, it is one of the worst. This is known as a gambling mentality, and hinges on that one chance, one opportunity to achieve overnight success. The reality is that there is no such thing as overnight success, and it takes several years of hard work and dedication in order for one to triumph in life or in business. An unearned success is not only a rarity, but when it does come, it leaves the person worse off as they have not learnt the skills needed to retain what they have achieved.
5. I am not good enough
Self-doubt is something that cripples even the best of us. In those moments it’s important to remember we all have our own set of skills, talents, and gifts. It is our duty to identify and constantly improve our skills, utilising them to improve the lives of others as well as our own. The problem occurs when we fail to identify our strengths and weaknesses, and end up pouring our efforts into something not meant for us, instead of focusing on our strengths. So those who are successful are often those who have identified what they are good at and have then dedicated themselves to that, honing it, improving that skill so that they can use it to ride to success.